Longtime Valentines

John and Lynn Fogarty of Hamburg have two wedding dates.

The couple were married by a justice of the peace Dec. 6, 1968, in Georgia, then were married in a church on New Year’s Eve the same year at home.

Question: Where are you from originally?

John: I’m from Queens, N.Y., originally. And then Long Island.

Lynn: And I’m from Bergen County.

Q: Who controls the TV remote?

Lynn: John. John controls it and he loses it. And I usually find it. (both giggle)

Q: How do you not kill each other when conflict inevitably arises?

John: Well, we really don’t get into too many arguments over the years, and that’s you know, I think that’s one of the reasons we’re married (as long as) we are. I think we have to listen to each other, and we have to know when the time isn’t right to have a discussion. Sometimes the best discussions are, you know, after things are thought about more and calm down and we kind of revisit things and have more of a discussion. And come to your decision.

Lynn: I have found that whenever there’s a disagreement, hold it for the next day. Let everybody calm down and then address it. And that seems to work well.

Q: What is your favorite memory from being married the past 54 years?

John: How we got married and our story of being together and how it’s all come to fruition. I would still say my favorite memory is getting married and I love being married. I always did.

Lynn: I was having a very hard day in sales and John had come home and he knew I had a hard day. And he had gotten me a raincoat.

John: Lynn came home from shopping, and she told me about this raincoat that she loved in Atlantic City. We were down at the casino, and she went to the shop ... . I wasn’t with her so after the fact, I went back to the store and I got the raincoat, and I was holding it for birthday or Christmas or something. She came home from work this one day and just had a terrible day and was very upset. And that’s when I gave her the coat.

Lynn: That’s a very special memory to me, and it showed that he listened to me because he found it in all of Atlantic City.

John: The only time I ever listened to her. (both laugh)

Lynn:. So, he listened good because I described it and he was able to get the exact color, the exact one. So, it showed he listened. The other memory I have. That is a funny memory: We were looking for a house down by Cape May and everything was outrageously expensive. This is going back 35, 36 years.

John: Thirty-six years and we found this little house after looking all day and the Realtor came. Goes with us and he couldn’t get it opened. He couldn’t open the door and this is all day. We had to go home. It was my birthday and we just looked in the windows and it was like a railroad house so you couldn’t really see.

Lynn: Everything it was. A small cottage and we bought it on site without ever going in and that I always thought it was pretty funny and we loved it.

Q: What advice would you give young couples today?

Lynn: I would say: If possible, marry your best friend. Stay very interested in each other and what they are doing at the time and keep romance in your marriage.

John: Make it easy. Don’t make things terribly complicated because most things really are not. People tend to make little things more complicated than they have to be. So you know, respect each other and listen to each other. And do the best you can to make your partner happy. And when you do that, you’re happy.

Q: What are you most proud of?

Lynn: I would say my two girls and my granddaughter, Julia.

John: I am proud that we’re married 54 years and we’re happy and we went through tough times and good times and you know I just love where we are now with our life.

Q: What is it about the other person that you love the most?

Lynn: I would say with John, he has a great personality. He keeps me laughing. And he always seems to look on the bright side of things.

John: I frankly feel and felt always that I was so lucky. That somebody like Lynn would marry me and would be my partner for life, and based on that, I just feel a constant really joy in my heart being together and that keeps me going.